Author: Sexish Blog

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Where to Hide your Sex Toys in your Room so No one Will Find it

I’m back home in New York and I’m always extra horny because all I think about is not getting dick whenever I can from my bf who is in Chicago. I end up masturbating almost every night until I get back home. Which is not a bad thing. It’s almost like a self-love type of moment for me. I start to think about all the amazing masturbating moments I’ve had in this very room and to be honesty they were some of my best!

In my room, I have this big ass mirror that takes up one side of the wall. It can turn a basic masturbation session into something so sexy that sometimes I can’t believe it’s real life and not porn. I don’t know if it’s this specific mirror but I always look and feel good in it. Sometime’s I’m so turned on by myself that I’ll masturbate to myself aha.

Where to Hide your Sex toy in your room:

I digress. This isn’t about me masturbating to myself in the mirror. I actually want to talk about where you can store your sex toys in your room so no one will find them. Although I’ve moved out of my parent’s place, my room is still technically my room even if my mother allows guests to sleep in it. With guests coming in and out of my room I’m always afraid they’re going to find something that they shouldn’t see. 

With what started as me leaving sex toys behind so that I wouldn’t have to bring any back from Chicago are now my favorite hiding spots to keep my toys from anyone who stays in my room.

In my apartment in Chicago, I leave all my sex toys in the open. That is just how I like it, except for when I’m back home. I’m sure you are also the type of person who doesn’t want their sex toys out in the open especially if you have family or if you have people over often. So I’ve come up with a list of places to hide your sex toy so that you can keep your private life private.

Here are a couple of spots where you can hide your sex toys

  • Inside your bedside table: Ever since I moved, I moved a lot of personal items into my bedside table. Journals, one hitters, and random things that normally wouldn’t belong in a bedside table. I love putting my smaller sex toys in here because it gets mixed in with everything. Someone would have to physically take out everything to find them. If you can put a lock on this drawer, even better!
  • In your drawer: Because it’s still technically my room, I still have clothes that I leave here so I don’t overpack when I’m visiting home. Wrap your sex toys around your clothes and wala, no one will know it’s even there.
  • Shoe Box: Wrap your sex toy with cloth and put it in an empty shoe box. Try to place your shoe box somewhere high or under your bed and away from people’s gaze.
  • In a handbag: Put your sex toy in a handbag then throw it with a pile of things that look like a “pile of nothing” to a spectator. No one will want to get involved in your mess especially if it’s going to look noticeable that they went through your things. Only you will understand the pile of mess!
  • In a jacket pocket: If small enough, put your sex toy in one of your coat’s pocket. Then tuck that jacket all the way in the corner so no one even look at it.
  • Think of the most random place that even you yourself will even forget! You know it’s a good hiding spot when even you can’t find it.

Where do you hide your sex toys so that no one will find it? I’d love to hear the creatives ways you’ve come up with!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh ( I’m not currently active on instagram at the moment but still follow as I occasionally with throw content on there. )

 

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Honoring Betty Dodson

Happy Monday! It’s the month of March aka Women’s month! It’s the month to celebrate the contribution of women in history and contemporary society. In honor of women’s month, I will highlight a woman who I believe has had an impact on women’s rights, sex, relationships, etc weekly.

Today, I’m going to highlight Betty Dodson. Betty Dodson is the founder of the Betty Dodson method, an artist, an author and a PhD sexologist. She passed away in October 2020 but her work to helping women connect with their body, have solo orgasms, release shame, and promote self-love still continues till this day.

Betty became involved in the sex-positive movement in the late 1960s. In the 1970s, she started her first workshop, Bodysex, where she would guide women for 2 hours through a masturbation session. This involved 15 women in a circle and a hitachi wand that she would provide. “Effective masturbation, she believed, was a form of liberation for women, a way for them to learn to prioritize their own sexual experience and reduce their dependence on men.”

Ms. Dodson at a sexuality conference in 1973.
“Ms. Dodson at a sexuality conference in 1973.Credit…Bettye Lane/Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University” Taken from the NY TIMES

 

Legacy Continues

Although she is no longer with us, her legacy continues with her business partner Carlin Ross who still continues to host Bodysex workshops via zoom. Live sessions will begin again in June 2023 with a retreat in the Catskills in NY for 3 days. Prices range from $2169 – $2586 USD. This retreat includes meals, a magic wand, and Betty’s Barbell.

Betty’s legacy also continues with people all over the world being able to become a certified Bodysex Leader. Which means people who are just as passionate about teaching self pleasure can do so in their own homes.

Inspiration

Even though I would’ve loved to do the workshop with Betty, the OG, I still look forward to attending one in the future (As soon as I can afford it). I am so curious what I can learn from different techniques and what masturbating with a group feels like. I imagine liberating and feeling no worries as no one there is there to judge. The only thing I’ve gotten close to that was attending a female sex club. It was then that I noticed how comfortable it feels to be in a room with only women and doing sexual things with compared to if a man was present. It’s a feeling that I appreciate.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve mastered my masturbation sessions but I am humbled immediately every single time I touch my pussy or try out a different sex toy. I am constantly discovering new ways to pleasure myself and I feel this workshop will give me another perspective of self-pleasure which I’m always open to.

I’m inspired by Betty’s passion to helping women discover orgasms on their own. It’s something that I wish to do myself. She has proved to all of us that although we as women are getting our power back, some of us still haven’t realized that orgasms are part of that power. We must work hard to teach and practice self-love as this is the only way to tapping into your sexual self.

Thank you Betty Dodson for starting this movement! Make sure to check out her website. She has more information on Bodysex and how to articles on masturbation/orgasms.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

 

That's What She Said/

Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge Results

It’s the end of February and the start of March! It’s funny how once it turns March we expect it to just not be winter anymore. Like we hope for it to be noticeably different.That is not the case out here in Chicago. It’s still in the 30s and I’m losing it! I need to move to California ASAP!

Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge Complete

Okay, back to sex. For those of you who were following the Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I hope that you were able to do some to all of these things in the month of February! If you didn’t, no worries because spicing up your sex life is not just for the month of February. This is an everyday thing, honey. So, feel free to save and come back to this whenever you’re ready.

Thank you to my subscribers and readers

I’m sorry I didn’t get to document every single challenge like I hoped to. I started a new job and I’ve been working on including blogging and crocheting into my new busy schedule. I do appreciate everyone who is reading, commenting, and subscribing though! You guys are the best and I promise I won’t let you down! You are the reason why I write! You’re like me who clearly believes talking about sex is necessary to living a fulfilling authentic life!

While I didn’t document everything for this challenge, I was still thinking about it whenever I was doing something sexy. I mean I’m the one who created it, I hope so aha. And per my last post , I mentioned how I was going to do this challenge more like BINGO instead of following it everyday.

Here are my results for this February’s challenge. I think I did pretty good. I wish I could’ve checked off “Kiss the Opposite sex” but that was in January and I didn’t want to cheat! If you want to see my results for this challenge, keep reading!

RESULTS

Sensation Play: Sensation play is when you heighten your senses for sexual pleasure. I would say that I’m somewhat a masochist. A masochist is “a person who derives sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation.” I checked this off because I got my boobs squeezed hard, spanked, and my nipples bit. This is a must for me all the time!

Masturbate Meditation: Check out my post on masturbate meditation. I’ve masturbated while focusing on my breathing before but this was different. I first set the mood by burning palo santos to clear out any bad energy. The smell even turned me on. I think what made this experience different was setting an intention before I started masturbating. I told myself that it was about exploring my body and that there was no expectation of anything. This helped when my mind would wander. There were plenty of times where I found myself cumming too fast so I would have to slow it down. I felt like I was teasing myself the entire time while also discovering new sensations in my body.

Bring a sex toy in the bedroom: I always bring a sex toy in the bedroom. I even bring sex toys on vacation. At one point during my hoe days, I’d even carry around a vibrator in my bag just in case.

Use Extra Lube: I did this multiple times during February! I even did this while I was masturbating. If I could tell my younger self that lube is nothing to be embarrassed about I would! I would tell her “Use the entire bottle! DO IT!! It will feel so good!”

Do it anywhere but in the bedroom: I think I get the horniest in the living room so check!

Take a sexy selfie: There’s so many to choose from.

Give a sloppy blowjob: There is only one way to give a blowjob.

Flirt with a stranger: Does flirting with fans on onlyfans count?

Tell your partner what you want done sexually: I do this every time I have sex and you should, too! I am never afraid to ask my bf to go down on me. There are days where I just need that and that only. Get what you want!

Walk around naked: I thought that was the only way to walk around home?

Talk Dirty: ” You love this asian pussy?”

Masturbate in front of your partner:  Masturbating in front of your partner will make it seem like he’s watching real life masturbating porn. HOT! Also, check! Ya’ll know I love acting like a pornstar :P.

Have sex in front of the window: We have a gigantic window from ceiling to floor that has a landscape view of downtown Chicago. Fucking in front of the window with that view is motivating. It makes me think about the next view that we are going to fuck in front of.

Fuck like a pornstar: Staring deeply into his eyes. Moving my hips up and down his dick. Moaning so loud the neighbors hear.. Check!

Try flavored lube: I finally tried flavored lube from #LUBELIFE. They sent me a whole pack of flavored lubes. It had chocolate strawberry, mint chocolate chip, and champagne flavor. I will do an actual review on this soon. Let’s just say, flavored lube is not for me but I can definitely see why some people would enjoy it.

Share sexishblog.com with a friend: Always!

Give, give, give, without expecting: I am very submissive and I am a pleaser. CHECK!

Touch yourself with your hands only: Check!

Cum more than once: Always. Forever. Done. Check!

While I do most of these things already, I’m always trying to challenge myself sexually by switching it up. There’s days where I don’t want to be submissive and I want to be the one who carries the dick. This is how you should look at these activities. Make it your own and have fun with it.

Thank you again for everyone who participated! I hope that you feel a little bit more sexy and more you. I can’t wait for the next challenge. What do you think should be on it next?

Make sure to please subscribe! It takes two seconds especially if you have autofill. I know, I know!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

 

Sexpert/

How I Became Comfortable with my BF Watching Porn

Before being in a relationship I would have fuckbuddy’s. We would watch porn together or they would watch porn alone. Either way, I was fine with it. I figured we were never going to end up in a long term relationship so there was no reason to bug them about it. 

It was not until I got into a relationship when  I felt some type of way when I found out my partner was watching porn without me. Yes, we’d watch porn together and it was fine, but alone? “Why would he need to watch porn alone,” is what I was thinking.  All these emotions started coming up. Emotions I would hear from couples in the past that I never thought I’d experience myself. I felt confused, betrayed, insecure, and jealous. 

I’m here to tell you, you are not alone for feeling the way you do when you discover your partner watches porn. It can be a terrible feeling especially when done secretly. 

With that being said, I still don’t believe that finding your partner watching porn should be a deal breaker in relationships. Of course, that is up to you to decide but hear me out. Most of the reasons why one wouldn’t be okay with their partner watching porn has a lot to do with internal issues that haven’t been resolved. 

It wasn’t easy for me to accept my partner watching porn at first. We had to have a lot of honest and vulnerable conversations with each other. There were tears, laughter, and feelings of embarrassment but it was all worth it. It made our relationship stronger and we got to know each other more along the way.

Since becoming comfortable with the fact my partner watches porn, I feel less stressed. I’m now able to focus on the bigger picture instead of focusing on something I cannot control.

I’m also able to practice what I stand for with Sexish which is to help others embrace their sexuality. Either being an advocate for women to playing with themselves or being an advocate for men who want to jerk off alone because they have fantasies, too. As long as no one is getting hurt in the process, I’m here for it!

How to be comfortable with your partner watching porn:

1.Have a conversation with your partner: Once you begin to feel some type of way when you find out your partner watches porn, journal your feelings or talk about it with a friend first. It’s never a good idea to have a conversation when you are upset. You’ll end up going off on your emotions which are not always true. 

Once you’re ready to have a conversation, be honest and open with your partner about how him watching porn makes you feel. You can even use this time to ask him any questions that will answer any of your assumptions you had about him to make you feel more comfortable.

Also, you’ll notice just having your partner listen and respect you will make you feel better. Often during these moments we feel that our partner might not care or even want to listen to what we have to say about this topic. You’d be surprise what a conversation can do!

Keep in mind that masturbating and watching porn for your partner might be a private thing so, proceed the conversation in a non judgmental way. 

2. Define what cheating means to you: Does cheating involve a physical person? Is emotionally flirting considered cheating? Is watching someone else fuck considered cheating?

Ask yourself these questions and if you end up with the answer of “porn is not cheating,” then try to reframe your thoughts on porn. Porn has always had a bad rep in the media and it’s not a surprise that it’s the reason why you dislike the idea of your partner watching it. 

I like to think of pornstars as performers since they are performing an act that most of us can not do. Or, I like to think of pornstars as strictly fantasy and that my boyfriend will never get a chance to bang them in real life. Thinking this way makes me less insecure he’s going to cheat on me with them. 

Once you’ve established the definition of cheating with each other, you will feel more comfortable knowing where both of you stand in your relationship.

3. I stopped being controlling:  Another way I started to become comfortable with the fact my partner watches porn is by getting rid of the idea that I can change him. As much as I’d like for him to only fantasize about me, I would be a hypocrite if I forced that on him. 

Let’s be real, whenever I feel sexy, I throw on porn and masturbate. I’ll fantasize about the big black dicks on the screen and wish that I was the woman being gang banged. If that was taken away from me, I’d be devastated. I would hate for anyone to feel they cannot express themselves sexually especially if that is something they do in private. If I’m really uncomfortable about the topic I will make sure to leave before I shame someone for expressing their sexuality. 

4. Make porn watching an activity you do together: If you’re still getting used to your partner watching porn, try watching porn with them. Watching porn together will give you guys the opportunity to learn new things about each other sexually as well as grow your relationship stronger.

By doing this, you get a sneak peak of their world they go into when they are watching porn. You’ll most likely take it less personally the next time you think of them watching porn because you’ll know that he does this activity for fun and you’ll realize it has nothing to do with the relationship. 

5. Why do you feel that way?: It’s important to understand why you feel the way you do. Pretend you already know the backstory to why your partner watches porn. He’s told you that it has nothing to do with you, that he loves your body the way it is, and that masturbating to porn is part of exploring his sexuality. That, pulse you watch porn, too. 

If after that, you cannot get over the fact that he watches porn, maybe it’s time to talk to your therapist or someone about this topic. This topic can be triggering for you and it’s worth finding out why. If we say we’re confident and secure with ourselves, why do we still have an issue?

Watching porn is normal! While it’s easy to think about the negative reasons why one watches porn, there are plenty of positive ones. Such as education, arousal, self curiosity, boredom, stress relief, etc. Because there are so many positive reasons why your partner watches porn, I believe you can be comfortable with this fact! 

When it comes to sexuality, we cannot be hypocrites. Just because we were told this narrative about porn doesn’t mean we have to stick with it. We are a new generation of sexual beings and we should look at it with a different perspective. It is not fair to judge someone for exploring their sexuality differently.

(I go back and forth between partner and bf without even thinking about it. I believe all my posts can be relatable to all genders. So, if it gets confusing, sorry!)

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

Sexpert/

Tell Your Partner What you Want Sexually

Happy Monday!! Sorry, I’ve been slacking with my posts! A lot has been happening and I was away this past weekend at New Orleans celebrating my 2 year anniversary with my Boo. But, I’m back with a sex post that I promise you will change your sex life forever!

Continuing Spice Up Your Sex Life Challenge for this month, I have “Tell Your Partner What You Want Sexually” on the calendar.  In other words, don’t wait for him to tell you what he wants from you in bed, YOU tell him what you want from him! This will prevent a lot of running back to your girlfriends and gossiping about what you didn’t get in bed.

I think the reason why so many people believe men love sex more than women is because men are more vocal about sex and what they want in the bedroom. We can learn something from them because this seems to work for them not only in the bedroom but in the professional world. Hewlett Packard did a study on why women weren’t in top management and Forbes put it like this, “Men are confident about their ability at 60%, but women don’t feel confident until they’ve checked off each item on the list.”

When it comes to sex, we women check the box for everything on the list. I don’t know what that list looks like but I know that we check it all! I know this because I’ve seen what men will do for us and there is no way we can go wrong! The only times things go wrong is when we don’t ask for what we want to feel fulfilled.

Actually, what men don’t tell you is that they love it when a woman knows what they want in bed. You’d be surprised by how many men actually just want to sit down and not think about the next move. From experience, men are turned on by me because I know specifically what turns me on, what positions make me look good, and most importantly, what makes me feel good. Best believe if I want my booty spanked I will grab his hand and show him how I want to be spanked.

TRY THIS: Think about all the times you had sex with someone and then afterwards felt like something was missing. Sit down with yourself and list the things you wish would’ve happened for the moment to be more satisfying for you. Do you wish that he went down on you longer? Do you wish that he was more gentle with your clit? Do you wish that you didn’t feel rushed sucking his dick? Do you wish foreplay was longer? Do you wish he wouldn’t call you a bitch during sex? Do you wish that he could’ve pulled your hair a little harder?

Think about your perfect sex session and how that looks like. Of course, keep in mind that you can’t control the situation completely but you are able to do things for yourself that will make you feel more empowered and less shameful. 

If you’re intimidated by this, you can always start slow by saying “no” or speaking up when you feel uncomfortable. You’ll eventually get used to being more vocal in which you’ll begin to see your sex life change for the better!

I hope this advice helps and you give it a try! Remember, you can always go back to being submissive and not ask for what you want if you don’t like it.

The Spice up Your Sex Life challenge is supposed to challenge your way of thinking about what you already believe in. It’s to show you what could happen if you step out of your comfort zone. Make sure to leave a comment if you’re participating in this challenge. Again, you don’t need to follow the challenge everyday. If anything, treat it like BINGO and see how many you can do this month! That’s what I’m doing! HAVE FUN!!

Stay Sexy & Curious!