There is only one way to give head and that’s a sloppy head! Here are my favorite tips to giving the sloppiest head!
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Stay Sexy & Curious!
Instagram: @sexishh
Check out my post on How to Enjoy giving a blowjob next!
Oh dirty talking, you’ve got to love it! It’s always something you never thought you would say out loud until you do and you’re like “damn, my pussy is wet. What else can I say?”
Dirty talk can be intimidating, exciting and awkward at first.
Like everything, practice makes perfect. Dirty talk is a great way to intensify things in the bedroom which can lead to better sex and becoming closer to your partner sexually. I believe it brings out a side of ourselves that we never knew was there. It taps into another sexual realm that can be so intense!
If you think you’re ready to talk dirty, here are some tips to get you started.
Figure Out Each Other’s Desires
First things first, figure out what you and your partner are into. What are their turn ons, turn offs, fantasies, desires? Then have a discussion about it. Don’t sleep on communication because that can be sexy too. Imagine knowing what your partner is into and being able to fully satisfy it? HOT.
It’s also important to know what words are forbidden so that you don’t end up killing the mood. For me, the word is “B*tch.” Don’t call me a bitch if you don’t want my pussy to dry up like a vacuum.
If a discussion is off the table, try asking questions during sex. Getting feedback from your partner can be another form of dirty talk. While you’re exploring each others bodies, ask questions like “do you like it when I do this?” “YES! Don’t stop!” “You’re so sexy.”
Confidence
Without confidence your sex talk will sound forced and awkward. I remember when I was starting to talk dirty, I would whisper real low so that they wouldn’t hear it just in case I said something off. You do not want to be in that situation as you will get a lot of “huh?” Not cute. Check out my blog post on confidence and why you need it to be successful at dirty talking.
Be Yourself
Be yourself! It will show if you’re not. It can be possible you’re not the explicit type and you’re more sensual. Try saying what you want to say out loud to yourself and see how it makes you feel. If you cringe, maybe it’s not for you. If you even you want to fuck yourself, then YES! Your partner will appreciate what you’re saying if it’s very “you.” That’s why they fell in love with you in the first place right? For you!
Text It First
Dirty talking is not just for in person. If you’re not ready to talk dirty in person just yet, try texting it first. This will be a great way to find out if your partner is into it too. Use this opportunity to ask questions and tell them how you are feeling so that you can use this information when you get into bed.
Here are some dirty talk phrases to try.
Dirty talking can be a whole different experience in itself. It will tap into feelings you’ve never tapped into before. According to Fatherly.com, “When you feel sexy and empowered and are being creative in your words and imagination, you are more likely to feel comfortable trying new things, asking for what you want, and feeling comfortable with your sexuality,” says Dr. Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida and the Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. ” Have fun talking dirty!! As long there is consent, I say go for it. Even if it ends up with you guys cracking up. At least you tried.
Stay Sexy & Curious!
Instagram:@Sexishh
3 years ago I had my first SEXISH event in Brooklyn, NY. My very first event. My baby! It was a huge success in my eyes! All my friends came out to support me and even a couple of strangers made it. It was so much fun to talk about everything sex in a safe space.
As much as I want to dwell in the past and talk about how amazing and sexy it was, I want to use this post to tell you what I learned from my first event. I learned a lot of things people don’t tell you about the process- like the emotions and let downs you face. It wasn’t an easy process but it was worth it.
I’m having an event in Chicago this year and it is going to be HUGE. This event is going to be 100x more successful than the first and second one. My dreams are bigger and better! I have new ideas. I have a new mindset. I’m ready, baby!! I’m over the past and ready for the future.
What I learned from the first SEXISH event.
Unexpected things will occur but there’s always a solution.
While I was planning this event, I wasn’t really expecting the unexpected to happen to me. I figured I’m doing everything right, what can go wrong? SO MANY THINGS went wrong! Emails didn’t get answered, packages didn’t come in time, locations got cancelled last minute. While disasters are bound to happen, there is always a solution. Let your mind do it’s creative thinking when things go wrong. You’d be surprised what you can come up with when you NEED something done.
Not everyone will believe in your vision and that’s okay.
What I love most about the Universe is that it made everyone so different. It gave everyone on this Earth their own purpose. I used to look at people on Instagram and compare myself all the time. I was so lost trying to figure out how I wanted my brand to look like that I forgot to ask myself what I actually liked. Not what Instagram was telling me what I liked. As soon as I started looking at myself and loving myself, that’s when I knew I was on to something. Trust your vision. It’s yours. Don’t let anyone take it away from you.
There’s a lot of fake people but there’s a lot more real ones.
I’m a New Yorker and I think it’s in my DNA to seek out fake people. There’s a lot of people who will tell you they’ll support you until it comes to actually supporting you. I learned that support doesn’t always mean showing up physically. People can support you through a text, a post, a phone call. Remember those people who showed up because they are the real motherfuckin ones!
Anything is possible when you put your entire focus on it.
Putting your entire focus is not a secret to success. Successful people talk about it all the time. They remove distractions and make their goal a priority. Try it! Try putting your focus on something. Live it, breathe it, be it and watch the details fall into place.
Don’t expect to get respect until you actually do something.
Do you know people who talk about doing something and never actually do it? I was that person once and I always wondered why people weren’t taking me seriously. I was working hard for something, wasn’t that enough? It’s not until you actually do something will people start to respect you. Everyone is doing something in people’s eyes. What makes you different?
RELAX. Trust the process.
Relax! It’s not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. You entered another world when you decided you wanted to do something challenging. The process is different on the other side. It’s the ones who stick to it who succeed.
You only need one person to believe in you.
SEXISH was once just an idea. It stayed an idea for a very long time until I met someone who believed in me. Something was different. It’s like she wanted me to prove to myself that I could do it. Don’t sit around and wait for people to be on board with you. If one person believes in you, I say go for it. People don’t say things just to say things.
In conclusion, you’re going to go through your own journey and learn your own lessons.
It’s when you discover those lessons on your own when everything will make sense. I promise you it will feel so good when you go after that thing you love. Good luck!
If you ask anyone who is having amazing, drooling, sexy sex what the sexiest thing they find in their partner, I bet they’d answer their CONFIDENCE.
Confidence: (noun) the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
Confidence is something you need if you want to excel in anything. It’s what sets you apart from everyone else. When you are confident everyone around you feels it. It’s an energy that goes unnoticed. That same confidence applies in the bedroom.
Before I tell you a couple of ways on how to boost your confidence before sex, I suggest that you start with an open communication with your partner about the things that turn both or several of you on. This will allow you to adjust some of the tips below so that it makes sense to your relationship.
Communication doesn’t have to be boring or a turn off. It can be sexy! Try talking dirty, asking questions or try to look out for feedback in the way they move. While I’d love to keep on going with the importance of communication, I’ll save it for later.
Why do you need confidence in the bedroom? If you don’t have confidence, something or your partner will have to compensate for it. Your focus should be on pleasure and connection, not insecurities. Just like you can pose in front of the mirror like a superhero to gain confidence, theres things you can do before sex that can give you the confidence to perform your best.
EXERCISE: Before sex I like to make sure that my body feels and looks plump and ready to go. I like to stand in front of the mirror (preferably a long mirror) and do a couple of sets of squats to get the blood flowing to my glutes. Have you ever heard of being swoll right after the gym? It’s when your body looks plump from lifting heavy. So not only internally will you be feeling amazing but your body will show it. To me, I personally feel great if my ass looks great so squatting is the exercise for me. I’d say to work on your favorite body part right before so that you feel your sexiest.
If you’re not into exercising, try twerking or dancing in front of the mirror. I find that it helps just as much with my confidence. Every time I put on dancehall music and I get real into it, that’s when I feel my sexiest. Doing this before sex will get you ready to go.
PUT ON MAKEUP: I don’t care what men think about when it comes to why women put on makeup but it’s always for us! Sorry not sorry. We know that men have no idea what the purpose of choosing a lighter concealer for under the eyes does for us.
“Putting on makeup is like putting on a pair of high heels. It gives you confidence and makes you feel more in control,” says Sonia Kashuk, makeup artist and founder of Sonia Kashuk Beauty.
The next time you need a confidence boost, try putting on makeup the way you like it. When you have control of what you put on your face, you’ll have control of what you get in the bedroom.
LINGERIE: I was never a lingerie person in the past. I always thought that it would be ripped off my body and it would be a waste. What I didn’t know about wearing lingerie was that I actually like the physical act of someone ripping off the lingerie. Something about it feels so raw, passionate, and sexy.
I love to wear lingerie when I want to surprise my partner. It makes me feel in control when I know what I have on is going to turn his dick out.
For my lingerie, I like to go to Victoria’s Secret, Savage, or I’ll just go to the lingerie section of a store and try to match the closet bra and panty.
PEP TALK: Just like you give yourself a pep talk before making a speech, I give myself a pep talk in the mirror before sex. I like to take an “Issa” moment and remind myself of what a bad ass bish I am! How beautiful I am. How open I am to feel what I’m about to feel. Remember no one can love you as much as you love yourself.
SEND A NAUGHTY TEXT: Another way to boost your confidence before sex is sending your partner a naughty text. Sending a naughty text is a great way to keep your relationship more interesting.
“All relationships require care and maintenance,” Dr. Manly tells Bustle. “When sexual intimacy is nurtured as an important element, the relationship tends to stay very bonded over time.”
This helps my confidence because it makes me feel like I’m in control of the situation. My partner knows when he gets a text from me that I’m feeling sexy and he can’t wait to get home.
MASTURBATE/WATCH PORN : What’s great about porn now a days is that you can find a porn that is for YOU! You no longer have to watch raunchy porn on pornhub or eporner (I still love it 😡 ) . There’s porn that’s made by women and regular people.
Try watching porn and masturbating before sex. When I masturbate, I’m able to let myself go. I feel like I’m preparing my body for pleasure and it feels so sexy! I use this time to love my body and be grateful that I can make myself cum. When you know how to make yourself cum, you won’t have a problem guiding your partner when they need help.
I also love watching porn to keep my sex move toolbox fresh. I love being in front of the mirror and imitating what my favorite pornstar is doing. I love feeling like a pornstar and if that’s how you like to feel too, give that a try. 😉
Glamour has a list of pornsites they think women would like. It’s worth to look at.
Everybody’s definition of sexy is different, so some of these tips might not work for you. Find what makes you sexy and do it. It is worth creating habits that make you feel sexy. It reflects in the real world and in the bedroom.
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Most sex toys are focused on one part of the body. There’s dildos for penetration, vibrators for your clit, cock rings for your cock, butt plugs for your butthole (although they are great to put in your pussy too!), etc. I’m not saying there’s no toys that do more than that because let’s not forget the famous rabbit vibrator. The vibrator with the cute little bunny ears and dildo for dual stimulation! I’m saying, there’s a new toy out there that does that but comes with 100x more pleasure! (drooling).
Introducing, The Enigma by Lelo
I was recommended by a trusted couple source of mine whom I cannot mention. You know who you are.
The smiles and glow the couple had on their face when they were telling me about this was a done deal.
I had to get it. There I was, a lucky Millennial with the answers to everything in the palm of her hands. It didn’t take long for my excitement to end when I first saw the price. The price was $189! I couldn’t believe it. My pockets started to burn. Ofcourse the very best toy is the most expensive toy. At the time, my most expensive toy was $50 and I loved it. But $189!!??? The things I can get with $189!! Then, I started to think about the glow and smiles. I needed that energy in my life. I pulled out my credit card and bought it. I’m a boujie girl and anything that screams BOUJIE, I want it.
I finally got it in the mail and it is just as sexy as it looks online. I got it in black.
I felt rich just holding it in my hand.
LELO calls it a “luxurious dual sonic massager designed to tittilate both the entire clitoris- the visible and the invisible parts- and G-spot” I just came typing that out because it does exactly that. What’s great about this is the sonic waves are strong enough to touch all of your clitoris and everything around it so that it doesn’t miss any parts capable of pleasure.
I wasn’t always a fan of inserting things in my pussy. I preferred REAL dick and a toy for my clit. It wasn’t until this toy where I was begging for something in me. The flexible hand on this toy is perfect for hitting the G-spot. For the longest, I didn’t think I could ever hit my G-spot and feel pleasure (while masturbating alone at least. ). When I tell you the arm is dripping when it comes out of me, it is dripping!!! DRIP DRIP!!!! The arm is the perfect size. You won’t be intimidated by it unlike other toys. I love the material! The silicone is so soft so it feels great on the skin. The material still looks brand new even after several uses.
The Enigma comes with 8 different pulses. Unlike many vibrators and clit massagers I own, all the pulses are all pleasurable. There are some vibrators out there with crazy pulses that I find hard for anyone find pleasure from. Do you like one those crazy pulses or are you like me who like the steady pulse? I like the highest vibration level but this toy is so strong I could only take so much. The Enigma is also waterproof and rechargeable! I believe all LELO toys have the same charger cord which makes that convenient.
I love using toys with my partner and I find this toy is easier to use when you’re in doggy style doing anal. I’ve tried it vaginally when both dick and the toy was in me and I found it a little uncomfortable but I had to try it! What’s great about this toy is that you have no idea where it is going to take you.
The name ENIGMA is perfect for this toy because even the most experienced toy users will be surprised with the pleasure they feel. This toy uses LELO’s patented SenSonic Technology so you know this is the real deal. I love this toy so much. I’m so glad I was thinking about myself when I purchased it. I had no idea that this was something that I needed in my life. I say try to save up for it if it’s a little much. It will be worth it!! Let me know if you end up getting it. I’d love to hear about your experience.
TIP: When you’re using the toy, try edging. It’s when you’re on the brink of cumming and you release the suction on your clit before you cum. Try using this with the enigma. You can either pull the clit pulse away or lower the level to the lowest. Enjoy 😉
Stay Sexy & Curious!
Instagram: @Sexishh
Want me to review a sex toy? Comment below what next!