Category: Sexpert

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Sexpert/

How To get Ready for Sex in less than 15 Minutes

Check list to get ready for sex

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re chillin at home with your bun up, in sweatpants and you’re still in the underwear you had on from last night then you get a sexy text from the person you’re fucking. Or, you’re at a bar and you meet someone at happy hour and they’re making you drip and they want to take you home. Whether it’s your fuck buddy, your boyfriend or someone you just met and they’re telling you they want to eat your pussy so good and they’re on their way while you’re in this predicament, you need to prepare quick!

Luckily my hoe days have prepared me for any situation where I only have at most 15 minutes to get ready. You don’t need to shower, you don’t need to go to the salon, you just need a couple of things that I bet you already have in your makeup bag. If not, a simple target run can fix that.

So you get the “I’m on my way” text. Don’t panic, just head to the bathroom. Everything you need is in there.

Wash your punani

If a shower is not possible, get yourself a washcloth and wet it with warm water and soap. Make sure to ring out all the soap from the washcloth so that it doesn’t mess with your PH balance.

Give your punani a good wash. Get in the folds of your labia and don’t forget to get in the fold of your clit to clean the smega out. Smega”Smegma is a combination of shed skin cells, skin oils, and moisture. “ It’s basically the equivalence to what collects under an uncircumcised dick. I know the word sounds gross but hey, we have it and we need to clean it. To clean this, just lift the hood of your clit and rub your clit gently.

Your booty is important too! Get in that bootyhole.

If you don’t have a washcloth use wipes! You can always carry this in your purse for emergencies. They work just as good.

Also, don’t forget to wear perfume!

Use powdered/cream makeup

When you’re in a rush, a full makeup beat is not possible and also not necessary. You’re mostly likely going to get your brains blown out with good dick and trust me, your highlight and contour won’t matter. And let’s be real, the makeup is not for the man. If anything, they could care less how you look as long as your pussy is working. But because we as women want to look “put together,” you can still do that with light and easy makeup.

I suggest using powder or cream makeup since they’re the easiest to apply.

I love using Mineralize Skinfinish Natural Face Powder by MAC with a big fluffy brush. Using a fluffy brush will give you a translucent to light coverage which is all you need to looking fresh.

Photo from Ulta
Photo from Ulta

 

Photo from Sephora

 

Using the same brush from your foundation, sweep on blush on your cheeks. I use ORGASM from NARS which is universally beautiful on everyone. I love this blush since it already has sparkles which is basically a blush and highlighter at one! 2 in 1s are helpful in these situations.

Photo from Sephora

 

 

I love keeping this in my bag just incase I forget the rest of my makeup. It’s a Lip and Cheek stick so give it a swipe wherever you need it and then you’re done.

Photo from Ulta

 

 

This is a must have!!! I don’t leave the house without this. This is the final step to everything. Spray this on your face after your apply your makeup and watch your makeup become skin. It’s like water for your skin!

Even if you don’t put makeup on and you apply this alone, you’re face will thank you!

Photo from Ulta

 

 

Hair

If your fuck buddy caught you at a time with “dirty hair” because you were waiting for next week to wash your hair, don’t worry, dry shampoo to the rescue! Dry shampoo can do wonders for your hair. There are times where I’m even surprised how good my hair turns out. It’s like when I think I have no more hairstyles, dry shampoo does something different.

Dry shampoo absorbs the dirt, oil and grease from your hair without washing it.

I use this from Bumble and bumle.

I love putting this in my hair even if it’s just a bun. It’ll make a messy bun look intentional.

Stretch

Once you’ve got the appearance all set, it’s time to stretch and get your body ready. Before getting dressed, do some stretches. Just like you should warm up for a workout, it doesn’t hurt to warm up before fucking! I love doing poses that open up my hips and hamstrings. Some of my favorite poses to get into are sleeping pigeon, butterfly pose, lunge to an easy twist, lizard, downward dog , cat and cow.

Have fun

Remember, have fun! Appearance isn’t everything but it is proven when we feel good we perform better. So do what you have to do to get your sexy on! :*

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @Sexishh

Sexpert/

How to Be Less Controlling

I’ve been in a real ass relationship for almost over a year now. This is new territory for me as before this relationship, I was having frequent casual sex with whomever and whenever I wanted. It was a fun time and I would never regret it but, I’d rather much be in the position I am now. Sorry not sorry.

I get good dick whenever I want, I don’t have to lie about my partners head being good, I don’t have to fake my orgasms (we’ll communicate instead) , we equally can’t get our hands off each other, and the best part is, degrading sex doesn’t feel so shameful.

When you’re in a new relationship, especially a spiritual relationship, you not only end up learning a lot about your partner, but you also end up learning a lot about yourself. It isn’t an easy path but if you want to move forward in life or embrace your sexual journey, you’re eventually going to have to confront your fears. Fears include jealousy, insecurity, lack of confidence, anger, blaming, judging, etc.

It could be that we first experienced these at a young age and we are now over exaggerating the situation by bringing it into our present life.

It’s not our fault that we experience these fears. It could be that we first experienced these at a young age and we are now over exaggerating the situation by bringing it into our present life. It’s up to us to be aware when these fears are triggered so that it can be easier for us to deal with them. Our future us will thank us.

I value growth. I feel that we as humans never stop growing even if you’re in your 50s. There is always something new to learn about yourself and others. To me, growing means to be able to live life without fears or at least to be able to combat your fears as soon as they arise. I don’t believe people are meant to stay in a negative state for so long.

I want to share a story about a time when I discovered I was being too controlling. I think a lot of us experience anger and pain because we have a problem with control. I never thought I was a controlling person. If anything, I knew controlling people and I didn’t think I was like them at all. It was not until I started talking to my therapist about my problems with jealousy and being angry which we concluded that is was all due to CONTROL.

STORY TIME:

It was the day right before my flight to New York. I woke up feeling great that morning because it was a Friday which meant when my boyfriend came back home from work, it was officially the weekend!

As I lay in bed awake first, I started to think about how I wanted the day to be like. He had been doing a lot for me the past couple of weeks and I wanted to return the favor. I decided that I wanted that Friday to be all about him. We’ll watch porn because I know he likes that, I’ll make chocolate covered strawberries for a sexy moment, I’ll pleasure him whenever he wants and I’ll even go to the sex shop to find something that we can both enjoy together. To me, it sounded perfect! I couldn’t wait to tell him what I had planned. A day just about him.

While he was at work, I prepared. I went to the grocery store, went to the sex shop, went to get my punani waxed, I was ready! He actually came home early so that we could spend more time together. He’s the best!

As the night went on, all I could think about was him. Was he having fun? Was he feeling sexy? Could I do anything to make him feel sexier? When are we going to watch porn?

As the night went on , all I could think about was him. Was he having fun? Was he feeling sexy? Could I do anything to make him feel sexier? When are we going to watch porn? I started to grow anxious as he wasn’t doing anything that I had imagined in my head. Instead, he was doing things that was relaxing to him which was fine but again, not how I imagined a sexy night to start or lead up to.

I checked up on him a lot since I thought we were both on the same page that this night was going to be sexy. There was no sexy in the air and I kept blaming myself for it. I started to suggest things like, “do you want me to take out the strawberries?”, “should I take the sex pill right now?”, “do you want me to suck your dick?” Anything!

Finally, we were both feeling uncomfortable and he spoke up. He admitted that whatever was happening felt forced. Past me at the time, was offended. “FORCED”!? How did it feel forced when we both wanted it, right? I thought I had explained the type of night that I wanted so how could he have not known what I was expecting? What did he mean FORCED?

I started to explain to him what I was trying to do and how my intentions were all so good. It seemed like there was a miscommunication somewhere because apparently when he heard that it was his day, he thought he could do whatever he wanted with no problem. But when I said it was his day, my real intentions were that WE were going have a sexy night. I figured if he’s feeling sexy, I’ll benefit from it.

We ended up arguing that night because I refused to believe that I was trying to force anything on him. I was embarrassed and disappointed.

THE ISSUE

When it comes to dealing with issues, it takes me a while to process them. Especially if it has to do with me taking responsibility. I cannot be angry and try to deal with it at the same time. I’ll end up turning into a nasty person and say things I’ll regret in the morning.

After going through every moment in my head from start to finish, I realized where the problem started. It started in the morning when I planned out how I wanted the night to go so that NOTHING could go wrong. It did the opposite. I planned for something where EVERYTHING was wrong if it wasn’t according to how I played it out in my head. Hence the reason why I was getting more irritable every time something was going off plan.

I gave both of us such high expectations where there was no room for error. This wasn’t fair to him because he had no idea he was under that much pressure. How would he have known what was going through my head if I didn’t tell him?

I started to think about all the other moments where I found myself angry and anxious. They all had something in common which was whenever something didn’t go my way, I was not happy. My problem was having to know what was going to happen because I was afraid if I didn’t prepare for it I would fail and be embarrassed.

That is something I had to admit to myself which was tough at first but enlightening. Did I want to live a life where I always knew what was going to happen? Or did I want to live a life where I’m open to any possibilities because let’s face it, the possibility that we are telling ourselves may not be the best one. I want to live a life where I’m open to anything and if in that moment I have to struggle then so be it. At least I’ll be a much stronger person from it.

Do you find yourself controlling situations? Could this be the reason why you find yourself upset whenever something doesn’t go your way? Could this be a reason why there is a stunt on your sexual journey?

I believe that losing control is the best way to live life especially if you are on your sexual journey. It’s impossible to get to know yourself when you try to control every aspect of your life. Sometimes you need to let go of the wheel and trust that your Universe is doing everything in the best interest for you. You’d be surprise what is in store for you. The book Seat of The Soul talks about this the best. This book along with therapy has given me tools that I use everyday to help with this. It’s life changing and I highly recommend it.

I hope this helps you by showing you what controlling your life can look like. It looks different for all of us but they all share similar consequences. Let’s all try to work on losing control!

How to be Less Controlling

– Go into a situation open to possibilities. Think to yourself that NOTHING can go wrong because if it does, that means that you were expecting something to happen. That is CONTROL.

– Be aware of how you say things. The words you use determine a lot of how your brain processes things. For example, I used to use the phrase ” I’m going to make him” whenever I would want to introduce a thing I was passionate about to someone. That phrase of making him do something aka forcing something on him already is telling myself that I don’t care if he wants to hear it or not. I’m going to make him listen and if he doesn’t I’ll be upset. Instead of using those words, I now go about it as “sharing” my passions with someone. I’ll introduce the topic because I love it but I won’t be upset if the other person won’t be into it too. I no longer have expectations for people to like the things that I like.

– I ask myself what is my intention. Intention is everything! There is an intention behind everything we say and some of us are just not aware of them. Once you become aware of why you are saying or asking things, the less confused you’ll be when a situation doesn’t go your way.

– Stop putting expectations on yourself and others. I noticed when I was being judgmental of other people, I was really being judgmental of myself. I expected them to be a way because I expected myself to be a way. Stop being so hard yourself and you’ll see yourself be less hard on others.

– Identify what control means to you. Try journaling about control and see what comes up. Ask yourself the questions, “What does control mean to me?” “Why do I need control?” “What happens when I lose control?”

– If all fails, do the opposite of what you’d normally do when you control a situation. If you react, try to respond instead. If you yell, try to use a different tone of voice. When you do this, you are being present and that is a start!

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagram: @sexishh

Disclaimer: Many of the links provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.

Sexpert/

How to Clean and Store your Dildos

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by Sexish (@sexishh)

If you told me I’d be playing with dildos years ago, I would not believe you! I was always the one who was afraid to play with sex toys that had to be inserted in my pussy. It felt wrong during a time where I was already feeling bad for rubbing things against my pussy to masturbate. Dildos also never appealed to me because they felt fake. I knew how a hard dick felt and it did not feel like that.

But, after meeting some freaky partners who introduced me to dildos and discovering ones that felt like the real deal, I’m proud to say that I LOVE DILDOS! My dildo chest only includes 4 right now but, I hope for it to grow… Pun intended…

If you want the dildos that feel real and are great quality you’re going to spend a couple dollars on them. Probably starting around $85. They are not cheap therefore you want to make sure that you always clean and store them properly after using them. By doing this, your dildos will last a life time.. Okay maybe not a lifetime but a long time.

I’m not going to lie, there are times where after I’m done using my dildo I will be lazy and just throw them back into my toy chest. We’re all humans and sometimes we want to avoid the extra stuff . We can do that with some things but, don’t do that with this! Sex toys can build up bacteria that can lead to all types of infections which is not cute hunnay!! So to avoid the antibiotics, clean your toys. Your pussy will be glad that you did it.

This is how I clean and store my dildos. There are plenty of ways to do it but I find this the easiest way!

Step One: Get your dildos WET

First step is getting your dildos all wet with warm water just the way they like it! I like doing this in the sink so that I can clean all my toys all at once rather than doing them individually. Even the shower is a great place to wash your toys. Don’t forget to get all the crusties off.

My favorite dildos…

Goddess Vibrator by Tantus
Step Two: Grab your Toy Cleaner product

Step two, grab your favorite toy cleaner. Mine is the JO Refresh foaming toy cleaner. I love this product because the foam gets into all the holes and crevices that you might normally miss. Just squirt foam on all your dildos and jerk them off until there is foam all over. Don’t forget to get the base or the balls. They need loving too. What’s great about this product too is that it only takes 60 seconds to work! Just wash off the foam and you are done!

JO Refresh Foaming Toy Cleaner

Use my code SEXISH10 on JO to get a 10% discount!

Step Three: Store Them

Step 3 is storing them. While you can just leave them on your headboard or on the side of your bed, this will most likely cause them to collect dust which is not the best way if you’re trying to keep them forever. I got this idea of storing my dildos this way from my favorite sales person at my local Hustler Hollywood. It has been the best way for me to keeping my dildos looking and feeling fresh. So after washing your toys, you’ll want to dry them off or air dry them. Then you’re going to take a big zip lock bag and fill it with cornstarch. Just enough cornstarch so that it can cover the entire dildo. After that, zip them up and store it back into your toy chest! It’s so easy!

Ziploc Freezer Gallon
ARGO Corn Starch
Step 4: Ready to Use them?

Ready to use them again? Just take them out the bag, wash off all the cornstarch and wala!! They are fresh and ready to get dirty again.

I hope this post helps you the next time you clean your dildos. Let me know if this works out for you.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram : @Sexishh

Don’t forget to subscribe to get updates on all the latest post to help you throughout your sexual journey.

Disclaimer: Many of the links provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.

Sexpert/

Masturbating Sex Toys for Beginners

Okay I’m realizing not everyone started masturbating at the age of 12 like I did but, hey the fact that you’re starting now is all that matters. I’m so proud of you for even having the curiosity of pleasure!

Masturbating means to stimulate ones own genitals for sexual pleasure.

Masturbating means to stimulate ones own genitals for sexual pleasure. Keyword here is “sexual pleasure” and that definition is different for everyone. One way of masturbating can turn someone on while it can turn someone else off.

Masturbating is amazing in that there are so many ways you can masturbate!

You can take it old school and use your hands, use toys, do it with a partner, or use household objects like pillows, etc. There’s an infinite way of masturbating and there is no right way. It’s worth to try all the ways until you find something you find extreme pleasure in.

Not only does masturbating come with great health benefits but I find it helps with your self-esteem and your sex life. With masturbating you’re essentially touching yourself and giving yourself pleasure because you want to feel good. You feel you deserve to feel good. It’s time for you to worship your body. When you love your body, you tend to take care of it more and make sure that nothing bad happens to it.

When you masturbate, you also figure out what feels good for you. This can be great when it comes to having sex with your partner. You’ll know what works for you instead of lying there and having to pretend you like what he’s doing when you don’t. You’ll be able to take charge and say “Nope. I like it this way!”

Unfortunately, some of us grew up being told masturbating was wrong and disgusting and it’s just not true. We all do it! There’s some who do it everyday, once a week, once a month and sometimes never which is also okay. As long as you’re not doing it because someone told you it’s bad then it’s all good!

Planned Parenthood lists some benefits of masturbating…

  • release sexual tension
  • reduce stress
  • help you sleep better
  • improve your self-esteem and body image
  • help treat sexual problems
  • relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
  • strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas

Now time for my list! If you’re new to masturbating touching yourself with your bare hands can be awkward at first. Although, I do recommend you touching yourself that way first, it’s not ideal for some. Luckily for you, there are toys out there for everyone! The toys listed below range from comfortability all the way to power that a new masturbator can with stand.

The Satisfyer

I recommend this toy to all my friends who are looking for a new addition to their toy chest. It’s a must have! I take this bad boy out whenever I’m in a sexy mood. I love that this has 11 different intensities so if you’re new to the masturbating game, you can still feel the air pulse without it being so overbearing. I can’t wait for when you are ready for that intense setting though. Wooooooo. Oh last thing, this toy is waterproof! You can take this in the shower which makes the experience 100x better.

The price on this isn’t bad at all, I think it’s pretty reasonable. You can even use my discount code SEXISH on Shopsedure.com to get 10% off your order.

iroha by TENGA

While this toy is disposable, it’s a great toy for beginners who’s experimenting with different sensations. This toy is 98% water which gives you another feel besides silicone. You can warm it in your hands or put in the fridge for temperature play.

LELO DOT

Introducing LELO’s new toy, LELO DOT. Did you know masturbating doesn’t have to only be with your pussy? You can masturbate touching your titties, your stomach, your arms, whatever brings you pleasure. I love that this toy is different. Unlike other vibrators with a penis like shaped head, it has a pointy end which makes it easier to reach erogenous zones like your neck, behind your ear, your nipples, and in between your thighs. If you want to tease yourself before you get into it, this is the toy!

CUTE LITTLE FUCKERS STARSI

If it’s the scary shapes of toys that scare you to masturbate, try toys from Cute Little Fuckers. This toy shape allows you to easily grip it from behind as you move it along your body. Masturbating can be cute too!

Fin by Dame

Dame products is know for its simple design. Most of their toys don’t even look like vibrators which makes it easy to get away with if you forget to put it away after a session. This is great for beginners as it only has 3 speed variations. This takes fingering to another level. The pleasure is limitless.

I hope that you can find the perfect toy for you on your sexual journey. There are so many out there that it might take you a while to find the perfect one. But, what no one talks about is that the journey to finding one is actually the fun part! Part 2 of this post will be different ways to masturbate without a toy! How exciting?

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

Use code SEXISH to get 10% off your order when you shop at Shop Sedure

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Sexpert/

How to Keep your Long Distance Relationship Spicy

How to keep Your Long distance relationship Spicy

Although my boyfriend and I live together there are times where we are apart for a couple of weeks due to me visiting my family back in New York. Not only does the distance make the heart grow fonder but our sex drive also grows fonder. All of a sudden when we’re apart, everything reminds me of his sexy body and his sexy dick.

For some, long distance for a relationship can be scary especially if it’s a new relationship. In the beginning, I had all these worries that he’d forget about me and he wouldn’t be thinking about me while he lived his separate busy life. It wasn’t until we started to do things to keep the flame going even from a far. Suddenly, that worry is nonexistent. Our relationship has grown stronger from being a part and reuniting in person feels so much better.

Making an effort doesn’t have to feel like a drag, it can be fun and sexy! Here are 10 things to do with your partner to keep things sexy from a far.

– Send Good Morning texts

Good Morning texts are the best. It shows your partner you’re thinking about them as soon as you get up. If you know your man loves to masturbate in the morning, send him a dirty text hoping that he gets a great nut in before he starts his day. If he doesn’t masturbate, give him a reason to. He’ll love that you care about his sexual needs.

– Let him know you’re thinking about him

I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend so even when we’re apart I’m still reminded of him in everything I do. Either it be the food I’m eating, something I see on TV, or just a random memory of him pops up. If it makes me laugh to myself, I love texting or calling him to let him know what did that. My partner loves to know I’m thinking about him even on my busiest days. The next time you see that thing that made you smile, let him know!

-Movie night

If you and your partner watch movies regularly, that doesn’t have to stop just because you guys are far from each other. There’s plenty of streaming services where you can share a link with your partner and watch a movie at the same time in real time! The next time you do movie night, set your Facetime call somewhere so that your partner can see you. Then place it on mute. Now you can watch a movie together and still see your partners reaction. It’s the next best thing to watching a movie together in person.

-Start a challenge

Distance is great for the relationship because it gives you time to reflect on yourself and remind you that you still have a life without your partner. It’s great to have goals with each other but having a strong foundation with yourself is crucial to a successful relationship. To show that you can be successful without your partner, start a challenge with each other. For example, it could be a fitness challenge. Challenge each other on who’s going to be more fit the next time you see each other. This will force you to focus on yourself and make sure you win!

-Use long distance sex toys

YES, there are long distance sex toys! It’s not like Player One technology where you’ll be able to feel every touch of his but it’s better than nothing. Make phone sex more intense with sex toys you and your partner can control with an app. The idea of your partner controlling your pleasure plays with the sub/dom dynamic which can be real sexy. Using long distance toys allows you to still feel connected with your partner even when you’re far apart.

Moxie by We- Vibe App Controlled (Use code SEXISH for 10% off)
Lovense is known for its app controlled sex toys that works for long distance relationships
We-Vibe Ditto I love We-Vibe toys because you can connect it to your music so that the vibrations vibrate to the beat

-Clone a Willy

Do you love your partner’s dick so much you wish you could take it everywhere? Well, Clone a Willy just made that possible! With Clone a Willy, you’re able to get all your favorite details on his dick on to your dildo. Take it everywhere you go, just make sure to hide it from the kids when visiting family.

– Try a Phone call instead

Remember how good 2 hour phone calls made you feel? Do that again!

Whenever I want to have a long conversation, I’ll do a phone call instead of a Facetime call. Sometimes when I’m on Facetime, I get distracted by how I look instead of focusing on what he’s saying. Giving him all your attention will make him feel special. Also, phone calls are just so much more romantic and I’m a sucker for romance.

– Think of ways you can surprise him for when you see him next

It’s finally the day you’re going to see each other. While you are enough, getting something extra will be even better. I love surprising my man with something when I see him. Either it be a food that he’s been craving or surprising him with something I saw that reminded me of him. Before seeing him, let him know you have a surprise. This will have him anticipating you even more.

Check out my Valentines’s day idea post to get more tips on how you can surprise your man! 

As you can see there are plenty of things you can do to keep your long distance relationship interesting and spicy. Don’t let the distance thing be a reason why you shouldn’t be with someone that could potentially be your one. As long as you both want it to work, there will be nothing that will get in the way of it!

I hope this helps on your current or next long distance relationship. Let me know if you do anything else to keep your relationship spicy!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @SEXISHH

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