Category: Sexpert

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Sexpert/

How to Make your Man feel Attractive

Feeling sexy before, during and after sex is a must if you want to get full pleasure from any sex act you’re doing. In a partnership, it’s not enough that we feel sexy on our own. I believe when everyone in the relationship feels sexy, the sexier the sex will be.

Often when we think of sexy in the bedroom, we think of women. We put on lingerie to accentuate our bodies, we put on makeup to accentuate our face, man, we’ll even get a whole haircut to feel sexy. In other words, we put in the effort to look sexy while it feels like men just show up. Whether it’s toxic masculinity or not enough men speaking up about it, men do want to feel sexy and attractive, too.

If you’ve ever been on a team or if you’ve ever been cheered on before, you know the cheers make you perform better. You start to believe in yourself and then you go above and beyond to prove that you can do it. This is the same in a relationship. When we uplift each other in a relationship, the relationship gets stronger. Instead of acting like it’s all about one person, we’re now acting like a team.

It’s not easy for men to be vulnerable with us. It takes a lot of courage from them. We don’t even see men being the main focus in porn. I hope to see more porn like this to show that men can be sexy too! The only porn I have seen done that is “Seehimfuck.” Check it out if you want to see something different.

If we begin to make our man feel as sexy as they make us, it can open the doors for him to be more vulnerable, curious and be their truest sexiest self with us. They might even let us lick their booty hole! Let the fun begin!

On a daily, we should be making an effort to making our man feel as sexy as they make us. We should be uplifting each other. Whether it’s in bed, when we’re out for lunch, or if they’re jerking off. If you’re looking to have a stronger and healthier intimate relationship with your partner, start here.

How to Make your Man feel Sexy

– Don’t be upset when other women are checking your man out

Often we’ll see our man get checked out by other women and be upset. Instead of feeling jealousy, feel proud people are checking him out. You’re standing next to a beautiful person and it’s normal for people to look at beautiful people. I don’t know about you but I rather have a partner people check out vs no one checking them out.

– Turn their insecurities around

When we get into a relationship, it’s more than likely they’ve done something with their previous partner that they were shamed for. It could be for watching porn, showing off too much skin, or not being able to be themselves. Instead of shaming them, turn their insecurities to positives. Embrace that part of them. Let them know that you love them no matter what they’re into.

– Tell them how much they turn you on at random moments

Doesn’t matter where you are, tell them how much they turn you on at the most random moments. It could be as soon as they walk through the door, when they’re taking a shower, when they’re taking a shit. The more random the moment, the more sweeter it will be!

-Touch/grab your favorite body part of theirs

While you guys are chilling, try caressing his chest or rub his dick while you tell him that it’s your favorite body part of his. He’ll be sure to always come out confidently the next time he shows that part of himself.

– Look at him with those sexy eyes

Sometimes silence does speak louder than words. Staring at your mans eyes while thinking about all of the things you want to do to him can even be sexier than saying it. Randomly stare and admire him.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

How do you feel about making your man feel sexy? Comment below!

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Sexpert/

Women Should Start Expecting Orgasms when they Have Sex

Have you ever wondered how easily it is for men to orgasm compared to you? It seems like all men need is penetration to orgasm and they’re good. It’s more complicated for us women.

We need scenery, we need vibes, we need comfort.

In other words, we need to be in the right mindset. If our mind is wandering, it can take us from a couple of minutes to hours to orgasm or sometimes we don’t even orgasm at all.

This is an Orgasm gap. An Orgasm gap is the discrepancy in orgasms between couples. A 2017 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior studied over 52,500 adult Americans. What they found is crazy but not surprising. They found that 95% of men said they usually or always climaxed while only 65% of women said they usually or always climaxed. That sounds like a gaped asshole to me.

Illustration by @Janailustration

There are many reason to why we have this orgasm gap. One of the reasons is what I mentioned above. We need to be in the right mindset to have an orgasm. Have you ever wondered why we’re so turned on one moment then as soon as we think about doing our laundry even for just a second, we’re totally not into it anymore? If this happens to you, this is normal. Unfortunately, once we get distracted, it’s hard for some of us to get back into it.

Another reason for the orgasm gap is because we are not familiar with our bodies.

According to a study from YouGov, there is a lack of knowledge about the female anatomy from both men and women. While both genders were able to identify where the clitoris was, it was a different story for when they had to identify the vulva, vagina, and the labia. How can we know what makes us orgasm if we don’t know what feels good to us? This is why it’s so important that women masturbate and get to know their bodies. If we confidently know what feels good to us, it’ll be easier for us navigate our partner around our body.

Last but not least, the orgasm gap is still prevalent because while some of us women will roll over to grab our vibrators to make sure we orgasm, there are many of us who won’t. In fact, because many women are not orgasming during sex they are expecting every sexual encounter or session with their partner to be the same, ORGASM-LESS!

A study at Rutgers not only proves that there is an Orgasm gap between heterosexual men and women, but found out that because women know there is this gap, they “put less emphasis on the importance of orgasm for their sexual satisfaction compared to men “.

“Our expectations are shaped by our experiences, so when women orgasm less, they will desire and expect to orgasm less,” said Grace Wetzel, a Rutgers social psychology doctoral student who advocates for orgasm equity to her 10,000 followers onsocial media. “If women do lower their expectations in this way, the more orgasm inequality may perpetuate in relationships.”

Don’t let the orgasm gap fool you into thinking achieving an orgasm is impossible. It just means we need to get to know our bodies more and start expecting to orgasm every time we have sex. Not sometimes, but all the time. We need to acknowledge the importance of our pleasure and the empowerment we get from it.

Forget the mindset where you expect to not orgasm because you don’t think it’s possible or you think you have to lay there and “take it. Just like you can change a negative thought to a positive one, you can tell yourself that you deserve to have an orgasm every time!

As women, we’re programmed to cater to our partners and worry about their feelings. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you’re coming too. It’s time to start thinking about yourself.

– Next time it takes you a while to orgasm, have a talk with your partner about being more patient if you feel some type of pressure.

– Having trouble orgasming can be linked to not knowing your body enough. Try to make more time to masturbate to figure out what feels good for you. You can even ask your partner to join you if you want to make this an exploring session.

– Some people may not be comfortable using their hands to masturbate. Head over to your local sex shop and ask what toys will work for you.

Remember, part of being able to change the world is by owning every part of yourself, that includes your erotic.Try taking your pleasure power back by telling yourself that you are going to orgasm today no matter what. Watch how many orgasm come afterwards.

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @Sexishh

Sexpert/

6 Different Ways to Play with His Cum

You’re fucking and he’s about to cum. There’s so many things you can do with his cum to turn this ordinary fuck sesh to a kinky one! If you’ve watched porn, you know there are tons of ways to end a session besides him cumming in you. Switching up the way you play with his cum can make the session you just had more rewarding to yourself and to your partner.

It can even make his orgasms feel more intense.

If my man doesn’t have a preference in what he wants me to do with his cum, I get creative with it. I love switching up the sessions by playing with his cum in different ways because it keeps my man on his toes. He never knows what I have up my sleeves in that moment.

How Society Makes you Feel vs How YOU Feel

Playing with his cum or seeing cum anywhere besides inside a pussy has a bad rep. It’s known to be degrading ( which it can be if that is part of your kink) and a way to objectify someone. Society has made us to believe this because of how it’s portrayed in mainstream porn. When you don’t see the feelings involved or the part where the woman consents to it, it can feel like that.

I feel empowered when I have the choice and control of where my man cums. I show that I’m confident in my choices when I do this which is how I want you to feel when you try these techniques. Forget what society has told you about cum, jizz, jism, whatever you want to call it. Instead think about how it makes you FEEL in the moment. Do you feel sexy? Do you feel powerful? Reclaim that erotic feeling that society has told us to be ashamed of this entire time.

Setting Boundaries

Often when there is a dom vs sub, people think the submissive have no control. It’s the complete opposite. As a submissive you have full control of what the dom can do to you. As long as you have a conversation about it before hand and your partner is not doing it out of nowhere, there is respect and control.

When you’re bringing kink into the bedroom, you should always set boundaries so there are no surprises from both ends. It is important you say something as soon as you’re uncomfortable to avoid having a hard time speaking up in the future. Remember to be confident in what you ask for and what you don’t want because it’s your choice. Speaking up will save you from so much shame afterwards and we all know how much we hate that feeling.

Play Safe

Before playing with cum, let’s begin by making sure your partner is clean from STDs. Unless you’re in a monogamous relationship you should be getting tested once a year. If not, you should be getting tested every 3- 6 months. While it is safe to swallow semen, WebMD says “The biggest risk when swallowing semen is getting a sexually transmitted infection. You can easily contract herpes, syphilis, and gonorrhea from performing oral sex.” You don’t want any of that! So get checked! This is essential to having the maximum fun!

Different Ways to Play with his Cum

1. Swallow!

Let’s face it, cum doesn’t taste good just like pussy juice doesn’t taste good. Whoever says it’s delicious is lying! It’s an acquired taste but it should be bearable. Now, if it has a really bad odor, weird color, or it tastes sour, your partner should get checked or change their diet. According to Healthline, there are allegedly some foods that can make the taste of his cum better.

“The alleged items that may help make the flavor of semen a little more tolerable include:

  • celery
  • parsley
  • wheatgrass
  • cinnamon
  • nutmeg
  • pineapple
  • papaya
  • Oranges”

Tips: When you’re giving him a blowjob, try to get his dick as far back down your throat so that your mouth doesn’t have time to taste his cum. Letting it sit in your mouth can make you want to gag. Another trick, is to get your mouth super wet with saliva so that when it’s time to swallow, it’ll be easier to go down.

2. Jerk if off onto your Boobs

Another classic way to play with his cum is to jerk it onto your chest. This is a porn fantasy coming to life. When he’s about to cum, open your chest or if you’re familiar with yoga, try to aim for heart center. Create art with his cum and rub it all over as if you were rubbing lotion on yourself.

Tip: Get sexy with it! How does it feel to have hot cum drip down on your boobs? Embrace that feeling. Stare into his eyes while you rub his cum on your nipples. Feel free to put that finger in your mouth to drive him wild.

3. Let it Flow down to your Fingers

When you’re jerking him off and he’s about to cum, start to tighten your grip on his dick so that you have more control of where you want his cum to go. Try to aim it straight in the air. Then jerk him off slowly and sensually until he cums. Let the cum shoot up and drip all over your hands creating a cum waterfall.

Tip: This can be sexy when you’re edging him. That is when you jerk him off until brink of cumming and then you stop abruptly. Edging will make his orgasm feel more intense. Once the cum is on your fingers, jerk him off slowly until he can’t take it anymore. Watch edging videos on porn to see what that looks like.

4. The Money Shot

The Money Shot or also known as a facial in porn is when he ejaculates onto your face. Also another porn fantasy coming to real life. Brace yourself when he’s ready to cum because cum is unpredictable. It can shoot one way one day and then another day, it’s shooting at an angle with extra force. Watch out for your back walls! Men are visual creatures and will love this! Just be prepared for it to get into your eyes which can have you walking around with pink eyes. Keep eye drops close by. Then check yourself out in the mirror because you’ll look beautiful!

Tip: One way to make this real sexy is by verbally telling him to cum on your face right before he orgasms. He’ll be so turned on from this confidence he won’t know what to do. This is also a great moment for you to feel empowered. You asked for it and you’re getting it.

5. Spit

Don’t make the mistake of hawking a loogie on the dick. That is an awkward silence you don’t want to have. Oh, you’d never do that? Okay then it’s just me…

To make spitting sexy, when he cums in your mouth, continue to suck his dick but release the cum out of your mouth slowly. Let it drip out of your mouth while also producing more saliva with it. It’ll make his dick extra wet! Continue to do this until his dick is sensitive.

Tip: Some men like the actual noise of the spitting so check in with your partner to make it the best experience for both of you.

6. Have him Cum on your Booty

Lastly, another way you can play with his cum is by letting him cum on your booty. Sounds basic but it’s kinkier than you think.This is great for people who love their ass! It’s your time to shine.

Tip: If you’re comfortable, have him cum in between your cheeks so that his cum is dripping down to your pussy. It’s a beautiful sight.

It’s the small decisions we make for ourselves in the bedroom that empower us in the long run. First you’re telling him where you want his cum to go. Next, you’re telling him you don’t like the way he’s been using his tongue. Small steps, baby!

Thanks for reading!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

Sex Fantasies/

How to Introduce Kink to Your Partner

What is kinky sex? Francisco Ramirez, a sexual health consultant told Well+Good, “Kink is anything that falls outside the bounds of culturally defined expectations, which, because of often wildly puritanical societies, could basically be anything that’s not penile-vaginal intercourse.” In other words, kink is a fantasy. It’s a time to play and do things that aren’t considered “normal.”

We’ve all had that fantasy of being saved from a castle from our knight and shining armor. Now that we’re adults, I’m sure that fantasy involves sex, right? NORMAL!

You want to jerk off because you see a nice pair of feet? NORMAL!

You want to be forced to have sex with your partner to feel like you’re in a rape scene? NORMAL!

You want to be tied up and be called degrading names while you’re being fucked? NORMAL!

The list goes on and on. If something made your body tingle and you had to jerk off afterwards, chances are you have a kink.

I’m happy to tell you there is a space and community for you.

While most kinks are “non-conventional” and because society isn’t quite sex-positive, it takes a person a little bit more courage to tell their partner about it. It can be frightening to confess to your partner your deepest desires especially if you’ve been ridiculed in the past.

Kinks are just important to your sexuality as blowjobs are to men. It’s what we desire and if it is not fulfilled, we can feel unsatisfied and it can lead to cheating, resentment or even post coital dysphoria. Post Coital Dysphoria” is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression, after sexual intercourse or masturbation.” Depriving yourself of your kink is depriving yourself of pleasure and fun! You are normal to have them and you should be able to share this part of yourself without feeling shame.

Whether you know the kink or you want to try a new kink with your partner, here are some tips to introducing it to them.

1. Communicate

Communicate!!!! Talk about your kink with your partner and explain to them how it came about. Your partner will be much more understanding and willing to explore it if they understand why it turns you on. Communicate what exactly you want to do and how you want it to be done so that there are no surprises. This is also a great opportunity for you to get your partner to talk about their kinks if they were afraid to talk about it in the first place.

If communicating this formally seems intimidating to you, try dirty talking your desires. It’s hard to resist something when you’re already in the moment ;).

2. Show them the Porn Version

Hearing the word kink or BDSM can be deceiving. Most of the time when people hear those words they think they have to act as a slave or get their balls kicked in. I know my boyfriend did. Show them that it’s not what they think by showing the porn version of it. It’s easier for someone to get on board with something when they see other people enjoying it.

3. Explore through Different Kinks Together

There are so many kinks. The list goes on and on. Skim through it with your partner to see what interests you both. You might be able to discover the names to the kinks you already have or even discover new ones. To make it easier, try taking the BDSM test together and share your results. If you have something in common, definitely dive into that!

4. Baby Steps

If your partner is on the fence with your kink, you might want to start off with baby steps. Educate your partner on BDSM/kink. Let them know the benefits of it and let them know the pleasure will be mutual. What’s great about BDSM/kink is that the community is strict with consent. Reassure them that you won’t do anything they aren’t comfortable with.

5. Prepare for a Negative Reaction

Unfortunately, no matter how much you explain to someone your kinks, they’ll never understand it. At this point, it’s up to you if you want to continue this relationship. If you feel in your heart that this kink is part of you and this is the only way you can be fully satisfied, they might not be the right one for you. I think if anyone who loves you, they will at least try to make it work even if they have to do it in baby steps.

Don’t settle when it comes to your sexuality. That is your part of your power and if it’s taken away from you, you might feel short in other aspects of your life. I’ll leave you here with an excerpt from Audre Lorde’s essay, The Uses of Erotic: The Erotic is Power,

“But when we begin to live from within outward, in touch with the power of the erotic within ourselves, and allowing that power to inform and illuminate our actions upon the world around us, then we begin to be responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense. For as we begin to recognize our deepest feelings, we beg

in to give up, of necessity, being satisfied with suffering and self-negation, and with the numbness which so often seems like their only alternative in our society. Our acts against oppression become integral with self, motivated and empowered from within.”

(Please read her essay if you haven’t. It’s such a beautiful piece!)

Stay Sexy & Curious!

INSTAGRAM: @sexishh

Sexpert/

How to Start Enjoying Giving Blowjobs

If you asked me years ago if I liked giving blowjobs, it would’ve been a “HELL NOOOO!” I would’ve been okay living the rest of my life without giving a single blowjob. I remember thinking how much it felt like a chore, like a force of nature. I hated the idea of getting on my knees just to get lock jawed and receive bad head afterwards.

It was not until one day I had a dick in my mouth when I realized the power I held.

Suddenly I’m the one pulling my partner’s pants down at 8 in the morning. I believe once we change the way we perceive blowjobs, we can enjoy giving them more and use it to our advantage. Grab your pillow ladies, because you are going to LOVEEE being on your knees… teehee.

1. Think About How Much you Love your Partner

I notice when I’m having the best time giving my partner head, it is when I’m thinking about how much I love him! I’m thinking about how much his pleasure means to me and in return I give him what he deserves. I don’t know about you, but I love seeing my man happy especially if I’m the reason for it. Thinking of it as an act of love makes giving head more enjoyable.

2. Create BJ Goals for Yourself

Giving a blowjob shouldn’t feel like a job! It should be fun. It’s sex! Sex is the time for you to be playful with your partner and to learn more about each others bodies. Create mini goals when you’re giving your man a blowjob. Challenge yourself and tell him you’ll make him cum in less than 10 minutes. You’ll find yourself giving him the best blow job just trying to fulfill this goal.

3. Grab Your Sex Toy

Giving a blowjob doesn’t have to feel one sided. Your pleasure matters too. Try grabbing your favorite sex toy or your favorite dildo and use it on yourself while you’re going down on him. Picture both of you guys coming at the same time! Drool* If holding the vibrator is distracting, there are harnesses you can attach to a pillow so that you can use your vibrator hands free.

For a dildo, there are plenty of dildos that have suction at the bottom so throw that thing on the floor and ride it baby!

Wand Essentials Passion Universal Wand Harness
ALAN DUAL DENSITY VIBRATING DILDO KIT

 

4. Make it Interesting

I love mentioning the grapefruit technique because it’s surprisingly a hit! All of the times I’ve tried it, it was better than expected for the man. Get yourself a juicy grapefruit and cut a hole in the middle. Have your man sit down with his eyes blindfolded. Slowly put the grapefruit on his dick and start sucking while squeezing the grapefruit. It’ll be a tastey experience for you while you watch your man drown with pleasure.

Grapefruit

 

5. Think about the Power of Good Head

If you’ve received good head before, you know you’re cooking breakfast for them. It’s just something we naturally do when we’re thankful for something. A good blowjob will have your man get you ice cream at 2 in the morning, it will have a him say “yes” to eating his ass, it might even get you that date night you’ve been waiting for! Any man will tell you what they would do for good head. Take advantage of that.

6. Try Getting Real Good at it

When you’re told you’re good at something you don’t want to stop doing it. It’s the same with giving head. Once you know how good you are at it, you won’t want to stop showing off your skills to your partner. Let your partner know that you love a good verbal feedback. Hearing someone cheer me on while I’m giving head always makes it more fun. Remember, practice makes perfect! Try watching blowjob porn to learn new techniques to try on your partner.

7. We Have All the Power

We have the power as soon as we put that dick in our mouth. We made a choice to put it in our mouth and we can stop whenever we want. Don’t ever feel like you have to do it for someone else if you’re not comfortable. This is the beauty of sex, consent!! Just changing your mind to thinking that you have all the control will help you enjoy giving blowjobs more.

The secret to good head is not the techniques but the attitude you have while giving head.

You can always tell if someone isn’t in the mood to giving head, you’ll feel it in your body. So try to change your point of view of blowjobs and give it another try. I promise both of you will be happy!

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

LELO The Enigma

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