Category: That’s What She Said

The sexy and curious will find articles that will entertain and satisfy their freaky and curious self.
– No FILTER
– Relationship advice
– Unique angles on controversial conversations

That's What She Said/

My Butt Obsession Journey

It’s hump day! One of my favorite days of the week because it’s a day where I can say hump for absolutely no reason. I can say it at my workout class, to my lyft driver, to my doorman, to absolutely anyone and it won’t be awkward.

Top: Free People , Shorts : Kiki De Montparnasse

If you know me personally, you know that my favorite body part is the booty! In this post I will share with you my journey with my ass obsession.

My obsession with butts started in 8th grade going into High School. I went to school with a lot of Spanish girls who had nice butts for 8th graders. I know that sounds inappropriate but it wasn’t a sexual attraction more so than a fascination on how bouncy and big a butt can be.

It was not until High School my fascination became sexual. I remember my first summer as a teenager going to the beach and seeing all the fat asses. I felt like I was in heaven. I had this feeling in me like I wanted to stuff my face in between all the cracks I saw. I’m not going to lie, I was the creep where I would tell my cousins to stand in the vicinity of the butt just so I can get an image of it. It was then I realized what a nice butt can do for a person. ATTRACT and that is what I wanted.

I wasn’t the cutest person growing up or at least I don’t think people I went to school with knew what real beauty looked like. So I thought a nice butt could make up for it. Soon after I was doing everything I thought would give me the perfect butt.

I would do 100 squats in my room everyday and then check my butt immediately after every set to see if it grew a little.

I did home workout videos that included the words “booty” “glutes” “tight” “nice butt” . I even ordered a workbook that swore it would make your butt huge. It was a total scam. I should’ve known with the absurd size of the butt on the cover.

As I got older, I found out what weight training could do for your butt. I squatted heavy and deadlifted heavy. My butt was finally getting to the size I wanted. It was not until college when I realized I actually had a nice butt. It finally felt like my workouts were paying off. It was the moments when I would fuck someone and they would compliment my booty that made me really happy. They loved smacking it, squeezing it, putting their dick in it. I was so proud of myself.

Just as I was starting to love my booty, all these fake asses started popping up on social media. All of a sudden everyone had a Kardashian butt! Was this fake butt next for me on my journey? Did I want that butt? My obsession with my butt started to become unhealthy.

I would look at a butt that was clearly fake and then look at mines and be disappointed.

My results from my workouts were no longer satisfying me. I didn’t even care about the compliments I was getting from the guys I was fucking. This was another level of butt that I needed.

I started overdoing my workouts. I was lifting heavy way too fast without getting the rest my body needed. This eventually led me to get a herniated disc. I remember watching an old man struggling to sit on a bench and thinking wow, I have the back of an old man.

With a herniated disc, I couldn’t lift. I became depressed thinking about how my butt was going to deflate. I was also praying that the phrase “you got it from your mama” was not true because my mother did not have the butt I wanted! What felt like months felt like years.

Finally after some rest, I got the okay to lift! It was sad at first because not only was I scared to lift, but I had to start all over. It seemed like just yesterday I was squatting 225lbs and now I was squatting 45lbs. Luckily, my body was already used to lifting, so getting back to it was easier than I expected.

Fast forward to therapy, I came to a realization that I had an unhealthy view of what I thought was healthy for me. Although I was working out which is good for my body, I was putting this extra pressure on myself to have a perfect butt which was not good for my mental health. I had a body image issue.

I had to be real with myself and tell myself that I was comparing myself to people with a different lifestyle and a different body type. I was giving myself impossible expectations. If I continued this route I would never be happy. I was essentially making myself miserable.

I had to change my mindset to what healthy really means. For example, when I workout I no longer determine my workouts on my appearance. Instead, I think about how I feel and how proud I am for getting a workout in. Because let’s be real, who is actually doing that for themselves?

This approach has made me love my workouts and my body more. I have a deeper appreciation for what my body is able to do more than how it looks. Like I’m proud of myself for being able to get in poses that most people probably can’t get into or how cool is it that I can sit in a 100 degree room and do yoga. Or how I can survive and feel great after boxing for 45 minutes.

Wow, what a journey. I’m really glad I went through this because it also made me more in tune with my sexuality. Part of your sexual journey is loving yourself unconditionally and for some that starts with realizing what is healthy for you. Remember, whenever you are doing something especially when it comes to appearance, you ask yourself who are you doing it for. If the answer is not for you, that might be the thing in your gut that is not making you happy.

With that being said, I’m still obsessed with nice butts especially mine. I still turn my head when I see a nice one. It’s now just a lot healthier than before. The only thing I have to work on is checking out my butt whenever I pass a mirror. My boyfriend says I’m the only one who wakes up in the morning and checks their butt out. But I disagree… or am I?!

In appreciation of my booty

I hope with this post, you can learn to love your body more. It’s not about looks, it’s about how you feel with yourself that matters more.

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagram: @Sexishh

Disclaimer: Many of the links (not all) provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.

That's What She Said/

Feeling Unsexy is Normal

Pre-covid I was single roaming the streets of New York City being a proud hoe. I was in my early twenties doing it right. I flirted with every man and woman any chance I could get, I slept with strangers, I partied with celebrities, I was having the best and worst orgasms, I made out with people I shouldn’t have, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on! I was doing all of this unapologetically. It was unpredictable, sexy and exciting!

The not so sexy me

Fast forward to COVID taking two years off my life and all of a sudden I’m an adult who has to get their shit together. I no longer have time to “figure things out.” I know you’re probably thinking, “you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself.” Well, I wish that was the case but, I have plans on moving to LA and “figuring it out” is not going to get me there fast enough.

I came to this realization about a month ago but I have been feeling this pressure for a couple of months now. In those couple of months leading to now, I’ve felt different. I haven’t been feeling sexy.

Usually when I’m feeling sexy, I’m more sexually motivated. I’ll try new sex toys, new sex positions, new sex acts, watch porn, and masturbate. I found myself doing less and less of it everyday. If anything I found myself being more hard on myself which was affecting my overall sexual desires.

I cried to my boyfriend about how I felt. I explained to him how I used to feel so sexy and how now I’m feeling blah. “Is it me?!”Ofcourse, he reassured me that I was still sexy and that he’d still fuck the shit out of me anytime of the day. (Oh, did that get me wet 😛 ) But he also told me something that I needed to hear, which was life was happening to me.

He was right! It’s not a surprise that in our first year of our relationship it was all fun and games. We’d fuck each other as if it was going to be our last time every time, we’d stay up playing dominos, we’d even sleep in during the week. It was like we had no jobs except to please each other. Oh the honeymoon phase is the best! Then we started to go on trips and then holidays started piling up which only meant more money coming out of our pockets.

Suddenly, money had to come somewhere. That meant working longer hours, making deadlines and for me, picking something I loved to do that would make me money. All of this made it harder for us to find time to be sexy. I haven’t even had time to clean my asshole out for anal sex! This was sad to me but a wake up call.

I started to think about the women who work hard 5 times a week, the women who feel they don’t have time to feel sexy. It’s not easy for them to practice sexy when they are exhausted from a full day of work. With that being said, I had to tell myself what I was feeling is normal.

Especially during a time when I was juggling so many projects at once. Pressure will do that to you. There are always going to be outside forces that is going to prevent you from being sexy ALL THE TIME. We can’t blame ourselves for that.

Instead the best thing to do is acknowledge the work that you are doing in the moment. Are you proud of that work? Was the work you were doing towards a goal? All those questions matter.

While I would love to fuck all day, I had to adjust to the transition from fun to business. I still believe exploring your sexual side is just as important as work but I understand we can’t dedicate every single second of the day to it. It doesn’t mean to choose not to be sexy ever, it just means you go all out sexy when YOU CAN.

Here are some things I do for myself whenever I get the chance to be sexy

– Listen to musicals. I love musicals and that always put a smile on my face. That brings me to who I am as a person.

– Listen to a sexy song that has hoe tendencies. EX: Lil kim, Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj.

– Wear sexy underwear for when I “accidentally” drop something in front of my boyfriend.

– Run a mile/ go to the gym. I love how my body (mostly my butt) looks after an intense workout.

– Journal a sexy story.

– Go to a sex shop and look at the new sex toys.

– Give my boyfriend a blowjob at the most random times.

– Masturbate / meditate

– Take a sexy selfie and send it to my bf

– Stretch naked in front of a mirror

– Wear no underwear on date night

In conclusion, just because you are busy doesn’t make you unsexy. If anything just you thinking about how unsexy you are makes you sexy because you want to get back to it. If you really want it, you will make the time for it.

Stay Sexy & Curious

Instagram: @Sexishh

Don’t forget to subscribe to get updates on all the latest post to help you throughout your sexual journey.

Disclaimer: Many of the links provided are affiliate links which means that I may get commission if you purchase something using the link on my website. (Thank you in advance) This is at no cost to you at all. I only share things that I believe would help one in their sexual journey. All my opinions and advice are my own. I am not a doctor or therapist so if you have any real life concerning questions, I am not the one.

Sexpert/

Masturbating Sex Toys for Beginners

Okay I’m realizing not everyone started masturbating at the age of 12 like I did but, hey the fact that you’re starting now is all that matters. I’m so proud of you for even having the curiosity of pleasure!

Masturbating means to stimulate ones own genitals for sexual pleasure.

Masturbating means to stimulate ones own genitals for sexual pleasure. Keyword here is “sexual pleasure” and that definition is different for everyone. One way of masturbating can turn someone on while it can turn someone else off.

Masturbating is amazing in that there are so many ways you can masturbate!

You can take it old school and use your hands, use toys, do it with a partner, or use household objects like pillows, etc. There’s an infinite way of masturbating and there is no right way. It’s worth to try all the ways until you find something you find extreme pleasure in.

Not only does masturbating come with great health benefits but I find it helps with your self-esteem and your sex life. With masturbating you’re essentially touching yourself and giving yourself pleasure because you want to feel good. You feel you deserve to feel good. It’s time for you to worship your body. When you love your body, you tend to take care of it more and make sure that nothing bad happens to it.

When you masturbate, you also figure out what feels good for you. This can be great when it comes to having sex with your partner. You’ll know what works for you instead of lying there and having to pretend you like what he’s doing when you don’t. You’ll be able to take charge and say “Nope. I like it this way!”

Unfortunately, some of us grew up being told masturbating was wrong and disgusting and it’s just not true. We all do it! There’s some who do it everyday, once a week, once a month and sometimes never which is also okay. As long as you’re not doing it because someone told you it’s bad then it’s all good!

Planned Parenthood lists some benefits of masturbating…

  • release sexual tension
  • reduce stress
  • help you sleep better
  • improve your self-esteem and body image
  • help treat sexual problems
  • relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
  • strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas

Now time for my list! If you’re new to masturbating touching yourself with your bare hands can be awkward at first. Although, I do recommend you touching yourself that way first, it’s not ideal for some. Luckily for you, there are toys out there for everyone! The toys listed below range from comfortability all the way to power that a new masturbator can with stand.

The Satisfyer

I recommend this toy to all my friends who are looking for a new addition to their toy chest. It’s a must have! I take this bad boy out whenever I’m in a sexy mood. I love that this has 11 different intensities so if you’re new to the masturbating game, you can still feel the air pulse without it being so overbearing. I can’t wait for when you are ready for that intense setting though. Wooooooo. Oh last thing, this toy is waterproof! You can take this in the shower which makes the experience 100x better.

The price on this isn’t bad at all, I think it’s pretty reasonable. You can even use my discount code SEXISH on Shopsedure.com to get 10% off your order.

iroha by TENGA

While this toy is disposable, it’s a great toy for beginners who’s experimenting with different sensations. This toy is 98% water which gives you another feel besides silicone. You can warm it in your hands or put in the fridge for temperature play.

LELO DOT

Introducing LELO’s new toy, LELO DOT. Did you know masturbating doesn’t have to only be with your pussy? You can masturbate touching your titties, your stomach, your arms, whatever brings you pleasure. I love that this toy is different. Unlike other vibrators with a penis like shaped head, it has a pointy end which makes it easier to reach erogenous zones like your neck, behind your ear, your nipples, and in between your thighs. If you want to tease yourself before you get into it, this is the toy!

CUTE LITTLE FUCKERS STARSI

If it’s the scary shapes of toys that scare you to masturbate, try toys from Cute Little Fuckers. This toy shape allows you to easily grip it from behind as you move it along your body. Masturbating can be cute too!

Fin by Dame

Dame products is know for its simple design. Most of their toys don’t even look like vibrators which makes it easy to get away with if you forget to put it away after a session. This is great for beginners as it only has 3 speed variations. This takes fingering to another level. The pleasure is limitless.

I hope that you can find the perfect toy for you on your sexual journey. There are so many out there that it might take you a while to find the perfect one. But, what no one talks about is that the journey to finding one is actually the fun part! Part 2 of this post will be different ways to masturbate without a toy! How exciting?

Stay Sexy & Curious!

Instagram: @sexishh

Use code SEXISH to get 10% off your order when you shop at Shop Sedure

Make sure to subscribe to my blog to get updates on the latest posts and events!

That's What She Said/

How to Approach People in Real life to Date

Everyone who is ABLE to date has probably experienced or is on a dating app. I’m now hearing that people are even using apps to meet new friends! I honestly stopped keeping up with them. The only ones that I’m familiar with is Tinder, Hinge and Bumble.

As Millennials, most of us have only used apps to date and that is weird to me! I’m a Millennial myself but I’ve probably only used a dating app to meet with someone once or twice and even then, it was during COVID and I had to get dick somehow.

But besides those times, I’m an IN PERSON type of gyal. If I see someone I like and I want them, I’ll go and get them. I tell people this and it’s like, “you meet people in the wild still?!” Cmon now people, “the wild”? You mean just basic human interaction you’re surprised about? I’m sorry, but that is what is wrong with our generation. We are so quick to judge someone based off their pictures but are too pussy to say it to their face.

I personally don’t get it. I find online dating much more stressful than going up to someone. I’ll start from beginning to end of why I think the entire process is weird.

First, you have to match with someone who looks good in their pictures. Mind you, not everyone is a movies star and is photogenic, so that is half of the world you’re missing out. But when you do match with someone finally, now someone has to hit each other up with some text that they’ve tried with hundreds of other people. “Hi, I’m new to this” or ” Hey, you’re really pretty.” or they use some cheesy pick up line that they found off google.

If you’re not turned off by that, you continue to communicate with each other through text. THOUGH TEXT! So you don’t even know the tone of their voice, their personality or anything. It’s all assumptions from there. Already a terrible start to any type of relationship.

But after texting for a week or two, you finally agree to meet. You get to your date and they’re nothing like their pictures, their texts, or your assumptions. Now, you’re upset and you’re blaming the universe that you can’t find anyone for you.

It’s not you, it’s the entire process! It puts you in too much control of the situation. Which is fine sometimes, but then there’s times where you need to let the Universe take the wheel.

Let the Universe use that energy you’re giving out (your intentions, the type of person you want in your head, your dreams) to guide you. You can’t do that when you’re playing Fairy Godmother and picking out your “perfect” man based off their questions THEY chose to answer.

I know the idea of going up to someone in person is scary but trust me, it will be so worth it! Life is about living and taking risks! You never know what is going to happen if you don’t take them.

I believe life is about practicing your authentic power and getting to know the other souls on this Earth. While it seems like social media is bringing us together, it’s actually making us forget how to interact with each other.

We’re forgetting what real emotions look like and getting used to emojis. I hate to see this happen so here are some of my tips for meeting people in real life. It can be to date someone or meet new friends, whatever it is, do it in person and forget the app!

Here are some tips to meet someone in REAL LIFE to date

  1. Go out somewhere where you believe the type of person you want to be with would go. Like, if you’re interested in entertainment, find out where those type of people hang out. This will make it easier for you to find someone you have something in common with.
  2. Try to go out with friends the first couple of times if you’re new to this. I always feel more confident when I have my friends hyping me up.
  3. Give yourself a pep talk before. Remind yourself that you are the shit no matter what happens that night. If you know yourself that you are confident, sexy, smart, beautiful, no one else can tell you otherwise! It’s their loss at the end, not yours!
  4. Be yourself. The best part of meeting people IRL is that you can be yourself up front. It saves you a lot of time if you don’t like how they react to who you are. Because girl, you do not have time for the assumptions and the back and forth.
  5. Don’t be afraid to take initiative and approach them. If you see what you like, go after it! This is your chance. You never know what’s going to happen. That’s how I met my bf. I saw him a 6’4 sexy ass looking man across the street and I had to jump on him.
  6. There are so many things you can talk about to start a conversation. Compliment them, make fun of them, point something out in the room, or just simply take your hand out and introduce yourself.
  7. Think of this moment as something you can go back and tell your friends about. Everyone loves a good story, so make this one it!
  8. Go back to grade school days and send the person you want to talk to a note with your name and number on it. You are guaranteed to make that person’s day which is an amazing feeling regardless of what happens next.

I hope you learned something and try it out! Human interaction is the best interaction and I hate for people to forget that. Remember who cares what happens. As long as you’re having fun and your intentions are good then that’s perfect!

COMMENT to let me know about your experiences in real life.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog to get updates on the latests posts!

STAY SEXY & CURIOUS!

Instagram: @sexishh

That's What She Said/

When your Partner is Your Best Friend and now you have Separation Anxiety

Is your partner your bestfriend? Mine is! Because my boyfriend has his own business and sometimes he’ll have “light” days, he’ll spend those days with me. Sometimes those days can be consecutive and we spend soo much time together. Every second is the best which makes him going back to work so difficult! There’s times where I feel like a dog waiting for its owner to come back home then snap back to reality to remind myself that I’m an individual and I can enjoy my time without him.

While spending time with your partner is important, it’s also important to have friends outside of your relationship and have your own life. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean working on yourself and spreading love to other people has to stop. If anything, this will strengthen your relationship as you won’t have to rely on your partner for something that is lacking in your life. You can just go out and get it for yourself.

Remember, being sure of yourself and being confident is a turn on. Work on that!

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Sexish (@sexishh)

If you’re a submissive like myself, a mantra I like to tell myself is ” I’m submissive in the bedroom and a boss on the outside.”

Don’t forget to subscribe to get updates on the latest post!