3 years ago I had my first SEXISH event in Brooklyn, NY. My very first event. My baby! It was a huge success in my eyes! All my friends came out to support me and even a couple of strangers made it. It was so much fun to talk about everything sex in a safe space.

As much as I want to dwell in the past and talk about how amazing and sexy it was, I want to use this post to tell you what I learned from my first event. I learned a lot of things people don’t tell you about the process- like the emotions and let downs you face. It wasn’t an easy process but it was worth it.

I’m having an event in Chicago this year and it is going to be HUGE. This event is going to be 100x more successful than the first and second one. My dreams are bigger and better! I have new ideas. I have a new mindset. I’m ready, baby!! I’m over the past and ready for the future.

What I learned from the first SEXISH event.

Unexpected things will occur but there’s always a solution.

While I was planning this event, I wasn’t really expecting the unexpected to happen to me. I figured I’m doing everything right, what can go wrong? SO MANY THINGS went wrong! Emails didn’t get answered, packages didn’t come in time, locations got cancelled last minute. While disasters are bound to happen, there is always a solution. Let your mind do it’s creative thinking when things go wrong. You’d be surprised what you can come up with when you NEED something done.

Not everyone will believe in your vision and that’s okay.

What I love most about the Universe is that it made everyone so different. It gave everyone on this Earth their own purpose. I used to look at people on Instagram and compare myself all the time. I was so lost trying to figure out how I wanted my brand to look like that I forgot to ask myself what I actually liked. Not what Instagram was telling me what I liked. As soon as I started looking at myself and loving myself, that’s when I knew I was on to something. Trust your vision. It’s yours. Don’t let anyone take it away from you.

There’s a lot of fake people but there’s a lot more real ones.

I’m a New Yorker and I think it’s in my DNA to seek out fake people. There’s a lot of people who will tell you they’ll support you until it comes to actually supporting you. I learned that support doesn’t always mean showing up physically. People can support you through a text, a post, a phone call. Remember those people who showed up because they are the real motherfuckin ones!

Anything is possible when you put your entire focus on it.

Putting your entire focus is not a secret to success. Successful people talk about it all the time. They remove distractions and make their goal a priority. Try it! Try putting your focus on something. Live it, breathe it, be it and watch the details fall into place.

Don’t expect to get respect until you actually do something.

Do you know people who talk about doing something and never actually do it? I was that person once and I always wondered why people weren’t taking me seriously. I was working hard for something, wasn’t that enough? It’s not until you actually do something will people start to respect you. Everyone is doing something in people’s eyes. What makes you different?

RELAX. Trust the process.

Relax! It’s not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. You entered another world when you decided you wanted to do something challenging. The process is different on the other side. It’s the ones who stick to it who succeed.

You only need one person to believe in you.

SEXISH was once just an idea. It stayed an idea for a very long time until I met someone who believed in me. Something was different. It’s like she wanted me to prove to myself that I could do it. Don’t sit around and wait for people to be on board with you. If one person believes in you, I say go for it. People don’t say things just to say things. 

In conclusion, you’re going to go through your own journey and learn your own lessons.

It’s when you discover those lessons on your own when everything will make sense. I promise you it will feel so good when you go after that thing you love. Good luck!